10 ways to get your speech started with a joke – part 1

When people hear that I’m on stage for like 60 minutes telling jokes, they’re always amazed at me being up there THAT LONG. Actually the hardest part isn’t being there for 60 minutes (ok, a few shows have been rough!), the hardest part is GETTING STARTED. That’s right, if you get started off in the right direction, then you’ve won. . . if you don’t, then it’ll be a LONNNGGG  hour. Here’s 10 tips for getting started off right. Some of these I’ve covered in other blogs, but this is a nice, comprehensive list to refer to. . .

  1. Address the crowd as you would a friend. If you’ve ever gone to an open mike night, you’ll notice that this is how most beginning comics do it, by asking ”hi, how are you.” Sounds good except when there’s 15 comics on the show,  by the last one we’re pretty sure everyone in the room is doing fine. But if you can start with a friendly greeting, then you can move on to your joke.

Radar addresses people by begging

Radar my cat addresses people by begging

radar begging

2. Ask a (rhetorical) question. If you’re starting off with a sports joke, you could ask how many people saw the game or how many people like baseball. I say make it rhetorical because you really don’t (usually) want an answer – you want to set them up for your joke. So don’t ask something complicated that people might not know (like what the score of the game was)  . . . make it a yes/no type thing.

3. Take a survey. I focused on this a few blogs ago – surveys are a great way to get easy participation, plus it’ll get you right into your joke.

4.Start in the middle. This is what a lot of authors do when writing a good book. . .they start in the middle of the thought. This idea was perfected with the “so on the way to the event tonight, I . . . “ fill in the blank. So start off with. . .so I’m walking here tonight. . . Many times I’ve started out with “so I was shopping today. . .” and then I roll into my make-up joke.

5. Thank the audience. When I want to start off with my movie joke, I first thank the audience for getting out of the house. . .and then mention that my friend just got out of the house to go see a movie. . . boom, I’m off into my material. So take a look at your joke and see what you can thank them for that will lead to your subject.

The next 5 tips, plus some bonuses, are coming up.

Jan

Bringing to Life an Awards Program with Humor

One of the big reasons that groups get together is to give out awards! If you’re speaking at the awards banquet (or even writing about the awards prior to the event) then you’ve got a great opportunity to include humor. Most award recipients enjoy jokes about the award because it gives them extra recognition. . .they’ve worked hard, and sometimes they only get like 10 seconds or less of kudos, so if you can stretch it out into a joke, it’s even better. Most people in the audience enjoy the jokes about the awards because it makes the whole ceremony TOLERABLE! So when giving out awards, here’s some things you can goof around with. . .

Qualifications. Make up some funny requirements, or some hilarious reasons why they REALLY got the award, and it’s sure to get a laugh. I recently did a show in which the award was named after one of the recipients, so I had some fun with that by asking “how does this association awards thing work anyway? Do you just make up an award and give it to yourself when you feel like getting on stage?” Take it to the extreme, maybe even find out the real requirements for winning, and add your own twist.

The actual, physical award. Sometimes the actual award is funny – especially if it’s not just a plaque. I emceed an awards banquet in which the awardees got a very nice glass award that was hand blown by a local glass-blower. While backstage I mentioned that I took glass blowing in college, but that all my classmates’ projects resembled bongs. The client cracked up and begged me to say that on stage – so I did and it killed. NORMALLY I would never make a drug reference, but the client really knew her group and knew it would be hilarious. So take a look at the physical award and see what it reminds you of. . . or maybe have some fun with what we COULD be giving the recipient.

Other Awards – what other awards could you have jokingly considered giving to the person? Take a look at the winner’s personality/hobbies/skills, and conjure up some funny, fictitious awards that describe that person. Is the person a multi-tasker? Then maybe you can joke that you’re giving them 3 awards at the same time? Or has person been in a volunteer leadership position for a long, long time? Then maybe they were also considered for the No-Free-Time award. Highlighting someone’s personality in a fabricated award is a great way to get some more mileage.

Competitors. . .Who else could have received the award? She’s such a humanitarian that she beat out Mother Theresa for this award! Think of who you can compare the person to and have some fun with that.

Awards presentations can be deadly to the people not receiving them (and even sometimes to the recipients), so take the yawn out of it, and spice it up with some much needed humor.

Jan

Speaking in tongues

I’ve never done comedy in another country (ok, Canada, but they’re so close it doesn’t count), yet I’ve been in front of audiences sprinkled with international people because they come to us. And while of course you can’t appeal to EVERYONE in the group, there are some things you can do when developing jokes so that you don’t exclude those folks who aren’t from the 50 states.

Don’t presume they don’t know American references. International people are more familiar with American references than (sadly) Americans are familiar with international references. So stick to big store names and big issues that have been broadcast repeatedly over the news, and you’re probably safe. I was recently in front of an international group of airline executives who buy and sell airline parts, and I made an analogy about the group being the “Pep Boys” of the airline industry. They got it because Pep Boys is pretty well known.

Have a saver line ready. Had the Pep Boys line gone flat, I could’ve tossed in something such as “note to self. . .Pep Boys auto parts is not international” or something else to clue them in to what I was talking about AND to put the joke on me. You defiantly don’t want to make them feel like they are idiots because they don’t know some major things in our country. . . find a way to make it self-deprecating. You could also follow it up with a joke that describes Pep Boys. . .”to those of you not familiar with Pep Boys, that’s the place where we Americans go to buy stuff for our cars like an .89 cent air freshener. . . and wind up also getting a 4 tires, a battery, and an entire new engine.”

Include a 1-word describer. You can also include 1-word in the joke that clues the international people in, such as “Pep Boys auto store”. Granted it might have slowed the joke down a bit, and maybe not made it as funny, but at least it wouldn’t totally die.

Stick to the conference. The group is at least familiar with the agenda and the hotel, so you can play it safe and only joke around with those topics. I had some fun with the really long names of a couple of the technical talks they were sitting in, and then made the comment that . . “I see you all are wearing name badges to the sessions – I’m wondering why? It’s not like anyone from the outside is going to try to sneak in!”

Focus on them. You can also have fun with the differences between America and other countries. Off the bat, I think that we (Americans) get 2 weeks vacation, while they (non-Americans) seem to get the entire Fall off, our buffets are 8 million times larger than their “buffets,” and when we pack for vacation, we strap a dressing bureau to our back while their entire month’s clothes are in a carry-on. Pull out a few key differences and focus on that.

Comedy is a great way to connect people from around the world, so don’t miss the opportunity to toss in a joke just because you’re afraid an international audience member won’t get it!

Jan

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